What Bodes Ill For Jack Sparrow
by storylover18
Summary: A one-shot that's turning into a multi-chapter story. Light, fluffy story about...Jack coming down with the chicken pox. Funny and cute moments.    Reviews are always appreciated.
1. Of Dancing and Scratching

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean...ouch…that was painful to say…**

**Ahoy, mateys! Behold what I have for ye: another story =) In all honesty, it was kinda spur of the moment and was meant to be a one-shot but I realized as I was writing it that it could go so many fun places that I will continue it for a few chapters. Since it's me, you should expect it to another sort of flu-fic…which, of course, it is. But it's different from **_**A Whole New Horizon**_**. This one is more humour than anything else. So pleasae enjoy =)**

Captain Jack Sparrow walked across the deck of the _Black Pearl_, clutching a bottle of rum in one hand, the other hand reaching down the back of his shirt to scratch his back. After relieving himself of the pesky itch, he continued to stride towards the bridge of his ship. Pausing to stop once again to scratch, this time behind his left knee, before climbing the stairs he took his place behind the wheel. He gave a contented sigh as he took a swish of rum and looked out at the sea. Jack flipped open his trusty compass, hoping it would point him in the direction of his next adventure. While waiting for it to settle, an itch so strong came upon him. It was in the worst place of all, where Jack couldn't reach; between his shoulder blades. Jack looked around for something he could use to scratch the itch, saw nothing of usefulness and tried rolling his shoulders. Having thought he had cured it when the urgency subsided, he looked back at his compass, only to have it return with an even stronger vengeance. Jack tried rolling his shoulders again but with no success.

"Aiii." Jack's mouth opened and made a sound that wasn't really a word but expressed the strength of the itch to a T. Seeing no other choice, Jack turned around and rubbed up against the wheel of the _Black Pearl_ and heaved another sigh as the itch was finally satisfied.

Across the deck, Ragetti and Pintel were watching their Captain.

"What's ye doing?" Pintel asked.

"Maybe ye wants to steer us blindfolded." Ragetti offered a suggestion as to the Captain's behaviour.

"Then why wouldn't ye just put a blindfold on?" Pintel wondered.

"I dunno."

The two of them continued to watch Jack. Will walked up to them a few moments later, wondering what they were staring at. He followed their gaze to Jack, who was know using his bottle of rum to rub against his lower back.

"What's wrong with Jack?" he asked them.

"Dunno." Pintel shook his head.

"Acting awfully strange if you ask me." Ragetti told Will. Will didn't say anything but strode up to Jack.

"Jack, what are you doing?" he asked.

"What do you mean what am I doing? I'm sailing my ship, of course."

"But you keep…" Will's voice trailed off as he tried to find the right words to describe it.

"What? I keep doing what?" Jack looked down at his compass as he flipped it open again.

"You keep scratching." Will finally found the word he was looking for. Jack snapped his compass closed.

"I am not. That's…dancing."

"Dancing?" Will repeated.

"Aye. Very popular with the ladies." Jack bit his lip in attempt to fight off another itch that insisted on being scratched.

"Aye." Will's voice held more than a note of doubt.

"Don't you have somewhere to do and something to be?" Jack asked, mixing up his words in the way that only Jack Sparrow can. Will didn't say anything but left the bridge of the ship and descended the steps. At the bottom, he turned to see Jack desperately scratching behind his ear. Will set off in search of Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was sitting below deck, darning a hole in one of her shirts.

"Elizabeth!" Will came towards her. Elizabeth jumped at his call and stabbed herself with her needle.

"Ow!" she exclaimed, sucking on her bleeding finger.

"Something's wrong with Jack. He's acting strange." Will pulled up a stool next to Elizabeth's.

"Don't you mean stranger?" she said, pulling her finger out of her mouth. When Will didn't crack a smile, she realized that he was genuinely concerned.

"Strange how?" she asked.

"Come with me." Will pulled Elizabeth. Happy to leave her holey shirt behind, Elizabeth followed Will above deck, into the bright sunshine.

"Look." Will pointed at Jack. Elizabeth squinted to see Jack. This time, Jack was hopping around the bridge on one foot, trying to pull off one of his boots.

"What's he doing?" she asked, still watching Jack.

"Depends on who you ask." Will responded. "I say he's scratching but Jack says he's dancing."

"Dancing?" Elizabeth turned away from Jack to face Will.

"Aye. Dancing."

"We'll just see about that." Elizabeth ran across the _Pearl_ and took the stairs two at a time.

"Jack!" she exclaimed. Jack froze in his position, which was standing on one foot, one boot off. He then straightened up.

"Darling, what brings you up to see Ol' Jack?" Jack looked past Elizabeth to see Will climbing the stairs.

"Did young Mr. Turner tell you that I was dancing and you just had to see if for ye self?"

"Jack, you're scratching." Elizabeth said.

"What? I am not." Jack bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from finally being able to scratch his foot. Elizabeth held his stair for such a long time that Jack finally broke down and scratched his foot.

"Fine, I'm scratching. I'm itchy." Jack said, straightening up again. Elizabeth looked at Jack's foot where he had just scratched and saw a small red spot.

"Oh no." she said under her breath, praying that Jack didn't have what she thought he did.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Jack, let me see your arm." Elizabeth said.

"Me arm?" Jack held up his arm.

"Yes, your arm." Elizabeth yanked up his sleeve, confirming what she had thought. She dropped his arm, which Jack unconsciously scratched.

"What's wrong, Elizabeth?" Will asked.

"I'm afraid that Jack has the chicken pox."

"The chicken pox?" Both Jack and Will repeated.

"Aye."

"But how is that possible? I haven't even been near a chicken." Jack said.

"You don't get them from chickens." Will informed Jack. "It's a virus."

"An extremely contagious virus." Elizabeth said as she looked out over the _Black Pearl_. "Which means anyone who's come in contact with Jack will catch them if they haven't had them before."

**Please leave a review =)**


	2. Jack's Choice

**Thanks for all those who read chapter 1. I've kinda lost inspiration for this story but I managed to write another chapter in hopes that I will get the urge back. So please try to enjoy this chapter! **

"Jack!" Elizabeth ran after the Captain of the_ Black Pearl_ as he walked hastily down the steps in no particular direction except away from her, scratching all the while.

"Jack, you have to listen to me! If you care at all about your crew-"

Jack stopped so suddenly that Elizabeth almost ran into him. Jack turned to face Elizabeth, who was panting slightly.

"Look, dearie, I need me crew. But I am not responsible for what happens to them aboard this vessel. And I am _not_ going to confine me self to me quarters. Apart from the rather…uncomfortable…symptom of itching, I am fine. Savvy?" Jack asked Elizabeth, while wiggling around trying to scratch between his shoulder blades. He found a mast and began rubbing up against it, looking very much like a cat at his scratching post.

"Jack, you have to stop. You'll just make it worse." Jack pulled away from the mast, the itch satisfied. He smiled charmingly at Elizabeth.

"No worries, Love. You just leave me poxies to me self."

Jack strode off, leaving Elizabeth fuming. Will came up behind her and watched as Jack once again climbed the stairs to the helm of the _Pearl_.

"It's a losing battle, Elizabeth." Will said to her. "Better to just let him be and take every precaution we can for the crew."

"Aye." Elizabeth said with a sigh. "But mark my words, Captain Jack Sparrow will come crawling back, tired and sore and sick. And then who's going to take care of his 'poxies' then?"

Will didn't say anything but gently rubbed Elizabeth's arm. He felt bad for her because they all knew that Elizabeth would be the one to do so. After a few moments of silence, Elizabeth pulled away and spun around to face Will.

"The crew."

"Aye, the crew." Will repeated.

"They should bathe." Elizabeth said. Will raised an eyebrow.

"Bathe?"

"Yes, they should bathe."

"Ye do know you're talking about pirates?"

"Aye. That will make it that much harder. But we all need to bathe. The cleaner we stay, the faster this will be over."

"Okay. Baths all around, then. But that's an awful lot of water to haul up and heat." Will gazed around him at the dozens of men scurrying around him.

"I think we're better off landing the ship and then bathing in the shallows."

"Aye. I'll tell Jack." Will volunteered, not wanting Elizabeth to have to face Jack once again. Will bounded up the stairs and came to stand beside Jack, who ignored his presence.

"Jack." Will tried once. Jack continued to stare out into nothing.

"Jack."

Still nothing. Will rolled his eyes; this was not going to be easy.

"Jack…me and Elizabeth…we need to land the ship." Will decided to just spit it out. At least this way it caught Jack's attention.

"No one tells the Captain what to do about his ship." Jack snapped at Will. Will had expected at least this much protest from Jack.

"Jack, we have to."

"No, we don't."

"Yes, we do."

"No, we don't."

"Yes. We. Do."

"No. We. Don't."

Jack and Will were holding each other's eyes hard until Jack had to break his concentration to scratch behind his ear.

"Jack, just listen to me, please." Will's voice was a bit gentler.

"Ye give me one good reason why I should land me ship."

"For yer crew." Will sounded triumphant, knowing that a good Captain would do almost anything for his crew.

"How is landing me ship going to help me crew?"

"Elizabeth thinks that we should bathe in the shallows."

"Bathe? You expect me to land me ship so that me crew can take a bath?" Jack laughed. By this time, Elizabeth had walked up the stairs and had joined Jack and Will.

"Jack."

"You're not going to get after me, again, are you, lassie?"

"Captain Sparrow. If you won't confine yourself for your crew, then the least you can do is land the ship so the crew can bathe and try not to catch the disease."

Jack stared at Elizabeth. As the Captain, he had to consider his crew's life and Elizabeth had given him two ways to do it. Knowing he had to chose one of them, he thought before giving an answer.

**Ohh…cliffie! What do you think would be better to read—bathing with the crew or a locked up Jack Sparrow? Also, just as a side note, I had a reader comment on something that I should bring to your attention. This story is incredibly unrealistic for 2 reasons. The first being that in that era, catching the chicken pox meant you were as good as dead. People didn't recover from them. Second, regardless of the era, it's serious business when an adult comes down the chicken pox. But I don't wanna make it that serious so it's a more of a…mild case. That still doesn't excuse the discrepancy but it's the best I can do :D**

**Please review :D**


	3. Baths All Around!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean. **

**Thank you to all my readers who have taken time (and had the patience) to read this. I apologize for the length between posts but I was able to gain a little inspiration that I hope will last! Please enjoy the chapter! **

Jack Sparrow held Will's gaze, as if their eyes were locked. Finally he sighed and held out his hands, as if ready to be shackled.

"Take me away." he said dramatically. Will and Elizabeth exchanged a smile; Will took the wheel and Elizabeth led Jack to his quarters.

"Can't believe I'm being held prisoner in my own ship. I mean, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Notorious Pirate Lord of the Caribbean and where does this get me? No where, that's where. Locked up in me own cabin, all by me lonesome." Jack mumbled and Elizabeth just rolled her eyes. Elizabeth opened the door of Jack's cabin and led him in.

"I'll be back later with some supper." she said, leaving Jack standing in the middle of the room.

"Try not to scratch." she said with a smile before closing the door.

"Try not to scratch, Jack." Jack mimicked her before looking around for a bottle of rum, scratching his arm while surveying the room. Finding a bottle, he smiled contentedly as he plopped down on his bed-unmade, of course. Taking a swig, he relaxed and wondered what he was going to do with himself now that he was quarantined. After awhile, Jack just fell asleep, holding his precious bottle of rum.

Meanwhile, Will was still at the helm of the _Pearl_. He was wondering where to head when Elizabeth returned from escorting Jack to his quarters.

"So what now?" Will asked her, squinting into the sun and looking at the bobbing of the ocean.

"I saw we make port. It'll give us a chance to get some fresh food, water and, if need be, medicine. Besides, we surely can't do much with Jack how he is."

"Aye." Will agreed. "Master Gibbs!"

The faithful first-mate scurried up to the helm.

"Which way to the nearest port?" Will asked.

"Where's Jack?"

"He's taken to his quarters." Elizabeth put in.

"Is he okay?" Mr. Gibbs asked.

"Aye, just a little under the weather." Will said. "Now, which way to port?"

"Well, slap me on the left and then the right. Can't remember the last time Jack took ill."

Mr. Gibbs looked out at the sea, up at the sun, and back at the sea.

"Without charts, I don't know where the nearest port is."

Elizabeth sighed. She knew where this was going…and where she was going. Will looked at Elizabeth with sympathetic eyes. Without saying anything, Elizabeth turned and went to Jack's cabin. After toying with the idea of knocking, Elizabeth went in unannounced. She found Jack's charts on the table, neatly kept. She wasn't surprised to see that—Jack may lack personal hygiene and a sense of decency but he was a good Captain and an experienced sailor. Elizabeth gathered the charts and maps and glanced at the sleeping Jack, glad to see he was sleeping soundly, getting some much needed rest. She hoped and prayed this would be a short-lived virus and everyone could go back to how things were before Jack took ill.

Closing the doors quietly, Elizabeth brought the maps to the helm, where she entrusted them to Mr. Gibbs, who studied them, tucked them away carefully and then took the wheel. Having taken care of the heading, Will and Elizabeth gathered the rest of the crew.

"Listen!" Elizabeth called out. "Captain Sparrow has come down with the chicken pox."

She watched a few amused glances dart around the crew.

"It's a highly infectious disease," she continued. "In attempts to keep us all healthy, we're going to need to clean everything Jack has touched."

"Just how infectious is the chicken poxes? Ragetti asked from his place in the crowd.

"Any form of contact is a risk." Elizabeth said.

"How deadly is it?" Marty asked.

"It can prove fatal." Elizabeth started but her voice was lost when the crew started all talking at once. Will stood up next to Elizabeth.

"But-" he shouted and everyone quieted down. "That won't happen if we clean the _Pearl_."

"But what's about if we's touched the Cap'n since he's got sick?" a sailor shouted out.

"The only way to take care of that is to bathe." Elizabeth said. She hadn't planned on proposing baths to a bunch of pirates unless they brought it up.

"Baths all around!" Mr. Gibbs shouted from the helm. Elizabeth looked up at him, surprised.

"Really?"

"Aye! I ain't about to lose crew on account of not taking a bath." he said with a smile and a wink. Elizabeth smiled back and then turned to face the crew again.

"Aye! Baths all around. But first, we clean every inch of the _Pearl_!"

**Okay, okay, I know what some of you are thinking: Pirates **_**cleaning**_**? Pirates **_**bathing**_**? I know it seems far fetched but to me, that's what's going to make this such a funny story. I hope you find that to be the case, too! Reviews are always appreciated : ) **


	4. Multiple Jacks

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean. Or the idea of a Mini-Jack…that idea is only borrowed.**

**Merry Christmas, everyone! Here is a little chapter for the holidays…and it makes me laugh out loud =) Seeing as I wrote my last exam yesterday (BIG SMILEY FACE) I'm hoping to finish this soon. It's on my to-do list. Thank you for all your patience and for all the reads/reviews! They, as always, put a smile on my face. **

Jack Sparrow was sure he was dying. Never could he remember being this uncomfortable, feeling this itchy, feeling so achy…and well, feeling this _sick_. He didn't care for it, to say the least, and he made it clear to anyone within ear range of his quarters.

"Bloody spots!" Jack yelled at the tiny marks on his skin, scratching them until they bled.

"Ah, perfect. Look what you've done now, Captain Sparrow." A 5-inch tall Jack appeared on the bed, feet dangling over the edge as Jack wiped the blood with his sleeve.

"That better not leave a stain." Mini -Jack continued. "But, then again, what's a little blood on a sleeve? Shows character."

"I think we have a bigger problem on hand, mate." Jack said with a straight face.

"On hand, that's funny." Mini-Jack let out a laugh and then his face fell when Jack gave him a look.

"Sorry." he said, ducking his head quickly.

"First of all, who are you and where did you come from?" Jack asked Mini-Jack, sitting down at the table where his charts normally where (he didn't notice that they were gone).

"I am you. Well, a mini, more handsome version of you. But most importantly, I am a chicken pox free version of you."

"And how did you get here?"

"That's all your doing, mate. That had absolutely nothing to do with me."

"Does that mean I can get rid of you, too? You're giving me a bloody headache with all this "I am me I am you" jabber."

Mini-Jack gave a sly smile.

"Sorry, Jack, but you can only make me appear. I decide when it's time to go."

"That's Captain." Jack said with a grimace.

"So, Captain Jack," Mini Jack began and Jack gave him a smile.

"What's the second problem?"

"Come again?" Jack asked, distracted by trying to scratch his back.

"The second problem." Mini-Jack hopped off the bed, climbed up Jack's boot all the way to where Jack was desperately trying to scratch. He started scratching and Jack relaxed at bit.

"Better?" Mini-Jack asked.

"Aye." Jack picked Mini-Jack up by pinching his head between his thumb and finger and set him on the table.

"So, now. The second problem." Mini-Jack asked, making sure his bandana was still in place.

"The second, and more important problem mate, is I, _Captain Jack Sparrow_, have the chicken pox! And I am stranded in me own quarters aboard me own ship!"

"I know who you are mate. Don't forget, I am you."

"Why do you have to always do that?"  
"Do what?"

"It's always about you! Everything that comes out of my mouth you turn it into something about you."

"But I'm talking about you."

"See, there you go again! Me!"

"But-" Mini-Jack started to protest.  
"No more 'buts'! I am done with you. I'm leaving." Jack stood up and started towards the door.

"Oh Jack, you're quarantined, remember?" Mini-Jack called just as Jack reached for the handle. Jack grimaced.

"Fine, but then I'm going over here. And you're not invited to join the party."

Jack plopped down on his bed and looked away from Mini-Jack, who looked amused.

"Party of one?" he couldn't help ask.

"Oh, be quiet and leave me alone!" Jack plopped his hat (which had been under the pillow) over his eyes.

"Be quite and leave me alone." Mini-Jack mimicked as he climbed down the table leg and climbed back so he was sitting in the crook of Jack's arm. Jack raised his hat with his other hand and looked down to see Mini-Jack smiling charmingly at him.

"I told you to go away."

"And I told you that you can only make me appear."

"Please, go away?" Jack begged.

**I hope that was as funny for you as it was for me =) Review?**


	5. A Good Little Captain

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean. **

**Wow…thank you to all my readers! I can't believe how many people are catching onto this story! I'm stilling trying to piece together the ending for this so rest assured, there's still a few chapters to go =) Please enjoy chapter 5!**

"Is we almost done?" Ragetti asked, throwing his dirtied rag into a bucket of murky water.

"Aye, this be near impossible. Besides, who'd ever heard of pirates cleaning?" Pintel asked from the floor, where he had been washing a spindle of the stairwell that led to the helm.

"We're nearly finished." Will said, coming up behind them holding a bucket of water himself.

"Another hour and it's done." Will continued and pushed passed Ragetti on his way up the small staircase. With a sigh, Ragetti fished his rag from the bucket and continued scrubbing the _Pearl_'s railing.

Will joined Elizabeth and Mr. Gibbs at the helm. Together, they looked out at the crew, all hard at work.

"I've never seen anything like it." Elizabeth said, sounding baffled. "Who'd ever think that pirates would clean their ship? I mean, really clean it…not just swabbing the decks."

"Death is a strong motivator, Miss Elizabeth." Mr. Gibbs responded.

"I suppose so."

"Have you seen how Jack's doing?" Mr. Gibbs asked. Elizabeth shook her head.

"Shouldn't we be doing that soon? I mean, you said yourself that chicken pox can prove fatal. I'd hate to lose Jack on account of them."

"Aye, it's a good idea. Maybe bring him something to eat." Will added and Mr. Gibbs nodded. Elizabeth looked between the two men.

"You make it sound like it'll be pleasant to bring Jack his lunch."

Mr. Gibbs smiled.

"Miss Elizabeth, Jack can be quite ornery when he wants to be but do know that there is no other person aboard the _Black Pearl_ that he'd rather have tendin' to him."

Elizabeth ducked her head and smiled, pleased with the praise.

"Let us know if we can help in any way." Will said as Elizabeth descended down the stairs, a hint of a blush still playing on her cheeks.

-POTC-

"Please, go away?" Jack begged Mini-Jack.

"Sorry, mate, but I can't let me be doing that."

"And why not?" Jack demanded. Mini-Jack opened his mouth to respond but instead turned his head when there was a knock on the door.

"Wonder who that could be?" Mini-Jack wondered.

"Jack?" Elizabeth's voice pierced the air as she cautiously opened the door. Jack let out a bit of a smile when she peeked her head through.

"Ah, Elizabeth. Just the lass I was looking for." Jack said as Elizabeth pushed the door open with her foot, revealing a tray of food in her hands. Ignoring his lunch, Jack gestured down to his elbow where Mini-Jack was eyeing the sparse-looking soup, licking his lips in anticipation.

"And why would you ever be looking for me, Jack?" Elizabeth asked, setting the food on the bedside table.

"Please tell him to go away." Jack motioned to his elbow. Elizabeth looked where Jack pointed.

"Tell who to go away? There's no one there, Jack."

"What are you talking about? He's right here." Jack looked down to find that Mini-Jack had disappeared. He sat up too quickly for the liking of his head, throwing aside pillows and blankets looking for his 5 inch replica.

"Jack, what are you doing?" Elizabeth asked as a pillow hit her in the face.

"I swear there was this little annoying version of me. He was sitting right there and he wouldn't leave me alone." Jack told Elizabeth. Elizabeth grew a tad concerned at Jack's claim, wonder if he was hallucinating.

"Are you sure you weren't just dreaming, Jack?" she asked as she put the pillow back on the bed and began straitening up the blankets that Jack had roused.

"No, Elizabeth! Honestly, he was the most annoying creature on this green earth." Jack said, his eyes wide with truth. Elizabeth looked at Jack with a smile.

"And you say he looked just like you?"

"That's not very nice." Jack told her with a straight face. "You come to see my in my poor, sick state and all you can do is make a joke out of Captain Jack Sparrow."

Elizabeth stifled a laugh.

"I'm sorry, Jack." she said, putting the last pillow in place. "I brought you some soup."

"No, thanks, Dearie. I'm not very hungry." Jack said, glancing at the soup.

"Jack, I went through a lot of effort to make that. Now, I want you to eat it. It'll make you feel better." Elizabeth held up the bowl to Jack, who sniffed it.

"I don't see how a couple of vegetables in hot water warrant the title of soup."

"I know it's rather sparse, but it's all that was left on board. We're making port soon to resupply. In the meantime, you need to keep up your strength, Jack."

"Why is that?" Jack asked, taking the bowl and began chasing a piece of carrot with a spoon.

"Because Jack, chicken pox can be serious business. You could die from them if you don't keep up your strength, rest and keep hydrated."

"Die, say you?" Jack's attention had been diverted from the carrot at the _D- _ word.

"Aye."

"All right, Lizzie. I'll be a good little Captain and eat all me soup and then take a nice, long nap."

"Really?" Elizabeth was caught off guard by Jack's cooperation.

"I will. But only because I have no desire to meet Davy Jones on account of the chicken pox…well, come to think of it, I don't desire to meet Davy Jones on any account. Savvy?"

"Right, Jack. Just finish that and get some rest." Elizabeth patted Jack's leg and stood up from her seat on the bed.

"Oh, and Jack, try to stay hydrated. There's a bottle of water on the tray, along with some fruit." Elizabeth added as she closed the door.

Jack turned his attention back to the soup and tried to stab a piece of potato with his spoon, splashing broth onto the bed.

"What's with you and stains, mate?" a familiar voice rang in Jack's ear. Jack looked over to where the voice had come from and saw, leaning against the bottle of water, his miniature, smiling like the devil.

**Being in a festive mood…how about some candy canes in exchange for a review?**


	6. It's Called Soap

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean.**

**Wow…all of a sudden people are interested and that makes me happy, so thank you for all your reading/reviewing/ "favorit-ing" =) This chapter is much longer than I intended but it's not as funny as the previous ones but they're important to the plot. Even so, I hope you enjoy!**

After leaving Jack's cabin, Elizabeth re-ascended the steps to the helm.

"How's Jack?" Will asked. Elizabeth shared her concerns about Jack's hallucinations.

"A little Jack?" Mr. Gibbs asked.

"That's what he said." Elizabeth said, shaking her head.

"Is that normal?" Will asked, feeling as concerned as Elizabeth looked. Elizabeth shrugged.

"I'm not sure. Hallucinations are common with high fevers but Jack is barely running a fever from what I can tell. I might just be a side effect of the virus. A virus can affect different people in different ways."

"Let's just hope that's the case." Mr. Gibbs said, squinting in the sunlight.

"How's it going out here?" Elizabeth asked, turning to survey the _Pearl_. She had to admit, she had never seen the ship look so good. All the lines were taunt and coiled neatly, the decks nearly shone and the sunlight reflected off of the handrails that surrounded the ship.

"We've just finished." Will said. Elizabeth nodded.

"Land ho!" a voice from high up cried out. Elizabeth, Mr. Gibbs and Will all turned to the North and sure enough, they could make out, in the far distance, a strip of land.

"So Miss Elizabeth, how do you propose we do this?" Mr. Gibbs asked, turning to face her.

"You mean how do we convince dozens of pirates to take a bath?" Elizabeth asked with a smile. Mr. Gibbs returned it.

"Aye, that."

"Why don't we drop anchor along a desolate part of the beach. We can proceed with all our bathing there and once completed, we can walk to town to resupply." Will suggested.

"What do you think, Miss Elizabeth?" Gibbs asked. Elizabeth nodded in agreement.

"Sounds reasonable to me."

"Alrighty then." Mr. Gibbs adjusted the wheel of the ship slightly. It wasn't long before he called out,

"Drop the starboard anchor! Secure canvas!"

Elizabeth watched as the anchor was released and felt the ship slow down as it caught on a reef.

"Let's get this over with." Mr. Gibbs said, leaving his post at the wheel. Elizabeth watched gratefully as Will took charge broke up the crew into three groups.

"All right." he called out. "We're going to row to shore a group at a time, where we'll bathe in the shallows."

The pirates grumbled among themselves, but to their credit, everyone in the first group got in a longboat without too much complaint. Elizabeth followed, handing Will a box before climbing into the boat herself. Elizabeth could feel her cheeks turn red as there were whispers behind her, implying the pirates thought Elizabeth would be bathing with them.

The ride to shore seemed to take forever, in Elizabeth's mind. Finally, they pulled the longboat up out of the water and Elizabeth opened the box. She started handing out packages—one for every two pirates.

"What's this?" Pintel asked, taking hold of the small package wrapped in wax paper. He smelled it and gagged.

"It's called soap." Elizabeth said with a raise of her eyebrow.

"We know that." Ragetti said, trying to save a little bit of their pride. Elizabeth just raised her eyebrow again.

As soon as everyone had a bar of soap, Elizabeth watched, again gratefully, as Will waded into the shallows, leading the group. However, she turned her back when she saw them start to unbutton their trousers. Feeling rather embarrassed, she took a bar of soap for herself and walked the beach, maybe a hundred yards or so, until she rounded a bend. Going far enough around it so that she couldn't see anyone and no one could see her, she waded into the shallows and Elizabeth tentatively unbuttoned her own trousers and quickly began washing herself.

After the fastest bath Elizabeth had ever taken, she reappeared on the beach, still facing away from the water, feeling clean once again. She had forgotten how nice it felt to wash her hair. She began using her fingers to run through her hair, untangling the knots. She was just pulling it into a braid when she heard the sloshing of water. She turned around cautiously, relieved to see that the men were all clothed once again and coming out of the water.

"Hey!" Pintel exclaimed, the soap slipping from one hand to another.

"It's slippery, that stuff is." Ragetti told him.

"I know that, Ninny." Pintel said with a roll of the eyes. However, as soon as his mind had been taken off the bar of soap in his hands, it had fallen into the sand.

"Now look what you has made me do!" he exclaimed, picking up the sand covered bar of soap and began picking off the grains of sand with his fingers.

Elizabeth surveyed the group of pirates in front of her. Will had been good at making sure that they were thorough-all of their clothes lacked some stains (although some stains just don't come out) and all their hair looked clean. Elizabeth made some surprising discoveries, too. For instance, Ragetti's dirty brown hair was actually a much lighter shade of blonde than she would've guessed and Jacoby's face, once clean, showed that he was quite a young sailor-21 or 22 at most. _(A/N: Check out my story _Hoist the Colours_ for a one-shot about my OC, Jacoby)_

"Gents!" Will called out and everyone quitted down after a few minutes.

"Elizabeth is going to lead you all to town, where you're going to pick up supplies—mainly fresh water and food. After that, you'll head back to the _Pearl_. "

Will turned to Elizabeth as the pirates mumbled amidst themselves.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked. Elizabeth nodded.

"Okay. See you soon." Will said as he pushed the longboat into the water and climbed in.

Elizabeth smiled and returned his wave before turning to the cleanest bunch of pirates she had ever seen.

"All right, Gentlemen, this way."

Elizabeth led the group of pirates to town—about a mile's walk. When they reached the outskirts, she turned to them, pulling out the small coin purse Mr. Gibbs had given her. She distributed coins among the pirates, giving them each an item to retrieve once in town. Many of the pirates noticed that she specified that they were to pick up only one keg of rum.

"Meet back here in an hour." she said, pocketing the remaining coins.

"Hey! Where's you gonna go?" Pintel exclaimed, feeling rather annoyed that he, Ragetti and another two geezers had been told to lug five barrels of water back here.

"I'm going to find a doctor. I need to pick something up for Jack." Elizabeth said. "Come on, we're wasting time."

The group of pirates shuffled off and Elizabeth detoured down an alleyway once they were in the thick of town. She made her way to the apothecary's shop.

"May I help you?" an older man with a friendly smile asked from behind the counter, not seeming to mind that Elizabeth was dressed in men's clothing.

"Yes, my…friend…has the chicken pox." Elizabeth told the man. "And I'm wondering if there is something I can give him to make him heal faster."

The man shook his head with a sigh.

"Sadly, 9 out of 10 people with the chicken pox don't make it. However, there may be one or two things you can try. Has your friend been to the doctor?"

Elizabeth shook her head,

"We've only stopped here to re-supply." she explained.

"I see. Well, is your friend finding that the poxes are itchy?"

Elizabeth nodded.

"This might help with that." The man handed Elizabeth a bottle of some sort of lotion.

"It's a cream from England. They say it helps relieve itchiness. Is there any other symptom that your friend keeps mentioning?"

"Well, he keeps talking about a miniature person that keeps bothering him. As far as I can tell, he's hallucinating but he doesn't have much of a fever." Elizabeth explained. The shopkeeper nodded.

"Hallucinations are common with the chicken pox—especially in older patients. The only thing I can advise for that is just to keep him very hydrated. It will ensure that a fever doesn't worsen and in some cases, it'll keep the hallucinations in check."

"Thank you." Elizabeth said, handing the man a few coins.

"Thank you, Miss. I hope you friend is one of the lucky ones."

Elizabeth smiled and left the shop. She found the rest of her crew waiting for her, lugging barrels and bags.

"Got everything?" she asked. A few nodded and many didn't say anything, so Elizabeth took this as a yes.

"Okay, back to the beach." she said, taking a sack and slinging it over her shoulder. The group moved much slower this time but eventually made it back to the beach, where Will was waiting in the longboat.

"All done?" Elizabeth asked, as they loaded the boat with all their packages. Will nodded.

"You too?" he asked, handing off a barrel that smelled like rum, however he wasn't sure. He had already come across two other barrels with the same smell and he knew that Elizabeth had specified one keg.

"Aye."

"Did you get something for Jack?"

"Yes. I have a lotion that will help with the itchiness but other than that, the shopkeeper said there's not much we can do for Jack besides keeping him hydrated. He told me that 9 out of 10 people with the disease don't make it." Elizabeth said, worry creeping into her voice.

"Well, don't worry about that, Elizabeth." Will said sympathetically.

"Why not?"

"Because he's Captain Jack Sparrow."

Will gave Elizabeth a smile as the boat pushed off from the sand bar.

**A review is always nice to get, especially so close to Christmas =)**


	7. That Wierd Sensation

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean.**

**Merry Christmas to all! Not much to say besides I hope you enjoy the chapter and I hope to have another one up ASAP =)**

"_Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord." __Luke 2: 11_

As soon as the longboat had been pulled out of the water, the anchor was lifted and the sails were hoisted.

"What's our heading?" Will asked, standing at the helm with Elizabeth and Mr. Gibbs.

Mr. Gibbs shrugged.

"Wherever the wind takes us, I suppose. Maybe we'll head up the coast—the lobster in Ter Nova _(A/N: Nova Scotia is marked as Ter Nova on the map hanging in Lord Becket's study)_ is especially good this time of year."

"Might as well." Elizabeth added before heading towards the stairs. Elizabeth walked to Captain Jack's quarters and quietly opened the door. She watched the still pirate breathe and was about to turn around and come back later when Jack spoke up.

"Elizabeth, darling. What brings you to see ol' Jack?"

Elizabeth spun around.

"I thought you were asleep!" she exclaimed. Jack sat up.

"The eyes can be deceiving." Jack said, scratching at his hand.

"Jack, stop scratching. It'll make it worse."

"I don't care. These are so itchy!" Jack started to violently try and scratch every part of his body. Elizabeth reached out and took one of Jack's hands.

"Stop." she said, trying to sound forceful. None the less, Jack used his stilled hand to reach over and scratch his shoulder, just to show that Elizabeth was not the boss of him…or his hand. Elizabeth reached into her pocket.

"Here, I got this for you." Elizabeth handed the bottle to Jack, who studied the intricate design on the label.

"The doctor-" Elizabeth started but Jack's head snapped up at the word _doctor_.

"Hang on a sec, there, Lizzie. No doctor is coming aboard this vessel and no doctor is _ever_ coming near Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?"

"For heaven's sake, calm down Jack. There's no doctor aboard the _Black Pearl_. I went to the apothecary shop when we were in port."

"In port? How long have I been down here, snoozing the days away?" Jack asked, the bottle still in his hands but long forgotten.

"Only a day or so." Elizabeth reassured the Captain. "We dropped anchor and rowed into the shallows so the crew could bathe."

"Bathe?" Jack asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, bathe. We've cleaned every inch of the _Pearl_ and we've taken the opportunity to bathe to prevent ourselves from catching this lovely virus. By the way, you may want to encourage a bath to your crew more often…some of them had never seen soap before."

"Seen what?" Jack asked.

"Very funny Jack." Elizabeth said with a smile.

"I thought so." Jack said, leaning back and using the wall for support. Sitting up for so long had tired him out.

"So what is this concoction and what am I supposed to do with it?" Jack asked.

"It's a cream that's going to help with the itchiness." Elizabeth told you.

"It's about time someone did something about that blasted itch." Jack said, unscrewing the bottle and sniffing. He gagged.

"Doesn't smell all too pleasant."

"I'll bring you some warm water and a cloth and you can wash up and then put on some of the cream." Elizabeth told Jack.

"Wash up?" Jack wondered aloud after Elizabeth had left the cabin.

"Aye, you know, wash your face, your arms…maybe getting some stains out of your clothes." Mini-Jack asked after magically appearing at the foot of Jack's bed. He began sauntering his way to the head.

"You again? I thought I had gotten rid of you?"

"No such luck, mate. Besides, you didn't get rid of me. I got rid of me."

"Would you please just shut it?" Jack asked, closing his eyes. "Ever time you appear my head starts pounding at the sound of your annoying voice."

"Now, how can that be?" Mini-Jack asked, perching himself on Jack's pillow, crossing his legs.

"I am you. Your voice is my voice. So my voice, which is really your voice, can't annoy you."

"Maybe it's not your voice…maybe it's all these bloody riddles." Jack complained.

"Aw, you don't mean that, Jackie. You love me." Mini-Jack said with a charming smile.

"I will love you if you just go away."

"I can't go away. Besides, you can't love me, that is, yourself, if I, that is you, goes away. The physics behind that just doesn't work, mate."

"Wait…what?" Jack asked, confused.

"It's a good think you have the chicken poxes as an excuse, Jack. Normally, you'd be able to follow that. Especially considering you're the one who said it."

"Please, just go away." Jack begged.

"Sorry Jack, I can't-" Mini-Jack started but he turned as the doorknob started to rotate.

He vanished the moment before Elizabeth swung the door open and walked in with a steaming basin of water. However, Jack didn't notice that Mini-Jack had gone.

"Elizabeth, will you please tell him to go away?" Jack asked.

"Who?" Elizabeth asked, turning to face Jack.

"Him." Jack pointed to his pillow where Mini-Jack had been perched, not looking there himself.

"He's gone, Jack." Elizabeth said, worried that Jack was still hallucinating, but playing along so that Jack would calm down a little bit—he looked rather cross.

"Thank you, Elizabeth. I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't shown up. The little menace was giving me a blasted headache."

"I see." Elizabeth mused. "Here's the basin of water. Wash up and put some lotion on. Then try to get some sleep. I'll send Will or Mr. Gibbs to check on you in a few moments."

Elizabeth left the room and Jack cautiously stood up and walked towards the steaming basin. He sniffed and gagged again. Nonetheless, he unbuttoned his shirt and dipped the rag into the water.

Before long, Jack was back in bed, all greasy from the horrid smelling cream but feeling much less itchy. When Will came down to check on Jack, Jack was snoring softly, sound asleep.

When Will re-entered onto the deck, he saw Ragetti and Pintel staring at Ragetti's arm.

"I feels so strange." Ragetti said, inspecting his arm more closely.

"What's that?" Pintel asked, pointing at Ragetti's arm.

"What?"

"That…that spot."

By that time, Will had heard enough.

"Elizabeth!" he called out and Elizabeth looked up from where she had been standing along the side rail of the _Pearl_.

"Yes?" she asked, coming up to Will. Will explained the situation, pointing at Ragetti and Pintel. Elizabeth and Will approached the two men.

"What's going on?" Elizabeth asked casually, not wanting to say that they had been watching the two pirates.

"I gots me a spot on me arm. And me skin feels so strange." Ragetti said, holding up his arm for Elizabeth to have a look. Elizabeth looked at the spot of his arm and ran her finger over it.

"Does that hurt or itch?" she asked. Ragetti shook his head no.

"Is it the chicken pox?" Will asked as Elizabeth looked at Ragetti's other arm and then smiled.

"No. It's a birthmark."

Pintel and Ragetti gasped.

"A birthmark? Does that means I's gonna die?" Ragetti asked, holding his arm close.

Elizabeth shook her head.

"Not at all. It's just a skin imperfection-something you're born with."

"Then why does my skin feel all funny?" Ragetti asked, still convinced he was going to die.

"That's called being clean." Elizabeth said with a wink before walking back to the edge of the _Pearl_.

**Please review?**


	8. A Humble Pirate

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean.**

**Well…I cannot believe the number of people reading this now! Thank you so SO much =) Although this officially the last chapter, I do have an epilogue planned so be sure to read it after this chapter. I'm hoping to have it posted within a few days. Plus, I have a to-do list for the break and on it there is to really work on **_**Pirates of the Caribbean: Wrath of Calypso**_**, writing at least a nice teaser, plus to write at least one section of **_**Pieces of Time**_**, so be sure to be on the look-out for those as well! Enjoy =)**

Before Elizabeth knew it, day had turned to night aboard the_ Black Pearl_. As she stood leaning on the rail, watching the last rays of sun dip below the horizon, Will came and stood beside her.

"Are you okay, Elizabeth?" he asked. She nodded.

"I'm just tired, that's all." she said, smiling at him.

"I'll bet you're exhausted." he said with a charming grin. Elizabeth turned back towards the fading colors in the sky.

"I can't believe it was only yesterday that Jack took ill. It feels like so much has happened since then."

"So much has happened. Not only have you managed to convince a crew of pirates to get down on their hands and knees and scrub a ship clean, you've convinced them to bathe-with soap. That's no small task, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth turned away from the now dark horizon and gave Will a kiss on the cheek, taking his words to heart.

"I've got to check on Jack." she said with a smile.

"Goodnight, Elizabeth. You know where to find me." Will said as she walked away. He smiled at her fading shadow, wondering how he managed to fall in love with the most beautiful pirate to ever sail the seas.

-POTC-

Elizabeth travelled her well-worn path to Jack's cabin. Elizabeth quietly opened the door and walked carefully, willing the floorboards not to creek. As she approached the sleeping Jack, she squinted as she saw little spots of blood dotting his off-white shirt. She leaned closer to see what had happened when Jack suddenly turned violently onto his side. Elizabeth jumped back, startled and holding her pounding heart. She watched with amazement as another little stain of blood appeared on Jack's back and it became clear to her what was happening; in the grips of a fever, Elizabeth suspected, Jack was turning so violently that he was breaking open the vesicles.

"_Or irritating them enough to scratch them_." Elizabeth thought as she watched Jack, in his sleep, scratch until another blood spot appeared on his sleeve. She sighed, knowing that this meant a long night for her, sitting at the bedside of none other than Captain Jack Sparrow.

-POTC-

Elizabeth left Jack's cabin and went to fetch basin of cool water. As she was carrying the cracked dish back to Jack's cabin, Will came up to her.

"What are you doing?" he asked, motioning down to the basin of water.

"Jack's in the grips of a fever."

A look of something that can only be described as fear crossed Will's face.

"So much so that he's breaking open the vesicles unconsciously."

"Come on, I'll sit with you." Will said, taking the basin of water from Elizabeth, although it wasn't particularly heavy.

"I don't know, Will. I wouldn't want you to get sick." Elizabeth protested.

"First of all, it's not fair for you to have to everything to care for Jack. Second of all, you could get just as sick as me from sitting with him and third of all, I'm not about to let a fever keep me away from helping Jack."  
Will's voice was firm and his reasons must've been good enough for Elizabeth because she nodded and led the way to Jack's cabin.

-POTC-

Will set the basin of water down on the bedside table and stood back as Elizabeth sat in the chair next to the bed. He watched solemnly as Elizabeth dipped a rag into the cool water and ran it over Jack's face, smearing his kohl accents. She continued doing so for approximately a quarter of an hour before finally leaving it resting on his brow. She then started dabbing at the open vesicles with a new cloth, ripping it into small pieces and leaving them as the blood soaked into the fabric, making impromptu bandages. She finally finished with all the visible vesicles and then sat back.

"Now what?" Will asked.

"Now we wait." Elizabeth said with a sigh. Will walked around to the other side of the bed and leaned against the built-in ledge that made up the ship's wall.

"You're going to make an amazing mother." Will said, just to fill the silence, although he meant what he said.

"What makes you say that?" Elizabeth said with a small laugh.

"You've got an excellent bedside manner." Will said.

"So that means I make a good nurse. That doesn't mean I'll make a good mother."

"But you've got such a gentle touch. It's like you're taking care of a small child, rather than Jack."

"In some ways, there's no difference." Elizabeth said with a smile.

"That's not very nice."

Both Elizabeth and Will jumped at the sound of Jack's rough voice.

"Jack!" Elizabeth exclaimed as the pirate sat up stiffly.

"How long have you been awake?" Will asked.

"Long enough to hear enough of this conversation to make me wish I was back asleep." Jack said, turning to face Will.

"How do you feel?" Elizabeth asked. Jack swung his head the other way and began to sway from left to right. Will lunged forward and caught Jack before he could fall all the way to the floor.

"Easy, Jack." he said, leaning Jack against the stack of pillows that Elizabeth propped up.

"I'm okay." Jack said, slapping Will's hand off his shoulder. "Just moved a bit too quick for me head."

"Jack? How do you feel?" Elizabeth asked.

"Darling, in all honesty, I have never felt worse in me life…except maybe that time me crew and me ate bad oysters before setting off into a ripsnorter of a storm. That was not a sight for sore eyes." Jack said, with a raise of his eyebrows. Will almost laughed at the idea of the incident, but quickly stopped himself.

"I want you to drink." Elizabeth said, handing Jack a cup of water.

"I prefer rum." Jack said, handing the cup back to Elizabeth.

"Jack," Will spoke up. "You need to stay hydrated."

"Rum hydrates." Jack said stubbornly.

"Jack, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you're really sick." Elizabeth started.

"Nothing gets by you." Jack said dryly.

"What Elizabeth is trying to say," Will continued in a firm voice. "Is that you need to drink water. It'll replenish you and you'll regain your strength. If you dehydrate, you'll die, Jack."

"Is he trying to pressure me or is he telling me the truth?" Jack asked Elizabeth, motioning to Will with his thumb.

"He's telling you the truth. The man at the apothecary shop, the one who gave me the lotion, said only 1 out of 10 people survive the chicken pox."

That was apparently enough for Jack because he quickly took back the cup from Elizabeth and drank it in one gulp.

"More please." Elizabeth filled the cup and again, Jack down it in one gulp. He did the same thing seven times over until he finally put the cup down.

"Is that enough?" he asked Elizabeth, holding his stomach. Elizabeth smiled and nodded.

"Thank the stars and the seas alike." Jack said, before falling back on his pillows.

"Why don't you try and get some sleep?" Will suggested. Already half there, Jack nodded. Elizabeth watched as Will helped Jack sit up, pulled the extra bedding out and then laid him down again, pulling the blankets up around him. It took Jack all of two minutes to fall asleep.

"What?" Will asked, seeing Elizabeth starring at him, a shy smile on her lips.

"You're going to make an amazing father one day." she said, echoing his own words.

"Why is that?" Will asked.

"You just tucked Jack in like he was a little boy. I can see you doing that one day to our own son."

Will smiled at the thought of 'their own son'.

"What did we say before? Something about Jack being like a child?" Will asked.

"That's still not nice." Jack's voice, once again, startled them.

"Jack, you're supposed to be asleep!" Elizabeth exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, Love, but all that water's gotta go somewhere." Jack said, throwing back the covers and sitting up. Again Will stabilized him before he would fall too far, his and Elizabeth's eyes meeting.

"Don't look at me. Potty training falls under your jurisdiction." Elizabeth said, her hands in the air.

"I'm quite capable of doing this on my own, thank you." Jack said, standing up unsteadily. Not eager to help out, Will and Elizabeth watched as Jack left the cabin. He returned a few moments and gratefully crawled back into his bed. Now exhausted, he didn't object as Elizabeth pulled the covers back around him. Within moments, he was sleeping soundly.

"Jack always has a way of making his troubles everyone's troubles." Elizabeth observed.

"Aye. According to Mr. Gibbs, what bodes ill for Jack Sparrow-" Will started.

"-bodes ill for the rest of us." Elizabeth finished. Will smiled and Elizabeth returned it.

"Why don't you turn in?" Will said. "I'll sit with Jack, make sure his fever doesn't go up and that he doesn't scratch."

After much convincing, Elizabeth gave up and turned towards the door. In the doorway, she turned and saw Will leaning over Jack, replacing the almost dry rag. She smiled and hoped that Captain Jack would get better quickly so they everything could go back to normal before heading off gratefully to her own bed.

**Review?**


	9. The Pox is on the Other Arm

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean.**

**Hey all, Happy New Year! Hope you're all enjoying the festivities =) Here's the epilogue that's been floating around up there. **

After what felt like an eternity for Jack and an eternity and a half for Elizabeth and Will, Jack was finally better and once again standing on the bridge of his ship. Jack gave a contented sigh and then took a drink of rum, glad to finally have his precious drink back. It had been ban by Elizabeth when he was sick, despite his complaints. Jack wasn't sure which was better…being able to drink rum or being out of bed for the first time in a week. Thinking about it, he decided it was best yet not to be itchy!

Elizabeth gave a contented sigh and took a drink of rum, too; only she was relieved to finally have this crisis behind them. After a week of sitting up with Jack at night, as that's when his fevers chose to be their worst, constantly telling him not to scratch and telling this "Mini-Jack" the real Jack insisted was there to go away and it just went on and on. However, it was over now and no other crew had come down with the virus, much to her relief. Plus, Jack got a clean ship and she got to enjoy a slightly odourless crew for a few days, although it didn't last long in the hot Caribbean sun.

Day quickly turned into night and Elizabeth retreated to her bed long before anyone else.

"Is she okay?" Jack asked Will as they watched her descend the stairs.

"Aye, she's exhausted." Will reassured the Captain, who, in all honesty, looked a bit worried although he would never admit it.

"Well let's hope she's back in tip top shape tomorrow." Jack said, leaving a smiling Will in the dusk as he too headed for his quarters.

Jack closed the French doors and relaxed onto his bed. It was a bit strange…for a week he loathed the piece of furniture and yet, here he was, finding comfort in it's worn out mattress. Jack reclined, placed his hat on the table next to the bed and took yet another drink of rum. He had just closed his eyes when Mini-Jack appeared. Jack wasn't sure how he knew that Mini-Jack appeared-there wasn't some noise to indicate it, no bright light, nothing special-and yet Jack knew immediately he was there. He opened his eyes and swivelled his head to see, sure enough, Mini-Jack was perched atop his hat.

"What are you doing here?" Jack asked with as much annoyance in his voice as possible.

"I-" Mini-Jack started but Jack had leaned in closer to the little figure.

"You look bloody awful." Jack interrupted. Mini-Jack scratched at his arm.

"Aye, I feel bloody awful too."

"That's comforting…I'd hate for you to feel fine and look that horrible."

"That's why I'm here, Jack. I need help." Mini-Jack sounded absolutely miserable and Jack could relate. For a split second, he felt a bit of sympathy for the 5 inch version of him that had driven him crazy only days earlier. But only for a split second.

"So you came crawling back to Ol' Captain Jack, hoping he would nurse you back to health?"

Jack looked expectantly at Mini-Jack, who squirmed under his stare.

"Well, I hate to say it mate, but Jack Sparrow does not nurse anyone or anything."

"But Jack-" Mini-Jack started.

"But Jack-" Jack imitated Mini-Jack in a high pitched voice.

"Look, mate, even if I was willing to help you, I'm no doctor. I wouldn't know the first thing about helping you. Why don't you go haunt Elizabeth?"

"I already tried."

"How is it that Elizabeth can get rid of you but I can't?" Jack asked.

"Because to Elizabeth, I am only a dream. To you, I am you." Mini-Jack sat and leaned against Jack's hat.

"Let's not start this I am you, you is me thing. I can't follow that even when I'm well."

"Look, Jack, I'll go away if you just give me some of that cream Elizabeth got you."

Jack's eyes brightened at the idea of being rid of Mini-Jack.

"Done!" Jack leapt off the bed and scurried back with the bottle of lotion. He placed it next to Mini-Jack, only to find it was taller than him. Oh well, that was not his problem.

"Oh, two more things before you vamoose mate." Jack said.

"Aye?" Mini-Jack asked, studying the bottle label.

"Drink lots, otherwise these little mini versions of you appear. It's rather annoying."

"Very funny, Jack." Mini-Jack replied, rolling his eyes. "What's the second thing?"

"You've got a stain on your shirt."

**Fin. **

**Thank you all, my loyal readers and reviewers. A very special thank you for all your patience! This story has been a long time in the making. I hope you enjoyed **_**What Bodes Ill for Jack Sparrow**_**.**

**Happy reading and writing!**

**StoryLover18**


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